We learn quickly that life is always changing. We grow. We move away. We mature- hopefully. We start a family-or a family of our understanding. We grow old. We die. Then the whole cycle of change begins again- with someone else.
For some of us change is scary. Change means loss. This morning’s reading touched exactly how I have been feeling with recent events “So many of us have lost so much, said too many good-byes, have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn’t good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.” The Language of Letting Go.
There is a part of me that wants to keep my children from growing up, from leaving me, and then there is that part of me that can’t wait to have my freedom back.
That part of me that wants to hold back the tides of change is feeling sad because it feels like another good-bye. My life has been full of changes, full of good-byes.
Every change bringing hurt, pain, separations, anger, confusion and then grief. And if we allow grief to manifest itself in its own unique and special way, comes peace, acceptance and a lesson learned.
Some of us have a lot of grief to deal with. Our lives became unmanageable due to all the changes we have gone through or are going through- either because of circumstances out of our control or due to our own foolish decisions. I had to deal with so much of my past, that now having my oldest graduate feels like another tide of change I don’t want to happen. I want to hold on to her.
But I can’t.
I must let her go.
I have to accept this change in my life. I have to trust that as she spreads her wings and flies away she will create her own journey and go through her own changes.
In letting go- although there is some pain and some grief- we embrace the endings so that we are ready for new beginnings.